Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Education: The World's Oldest Opportunity

Girls Take Night Jobs as Librarians to Pay for Stripper School

As fall semester classes continue across college campuses nationwide, some students are finding less time to study and more time to work. Tragically, many young girls in school are forced to take up jobs that appeal to a small but twisted portion of the population that likes to read. Many female students have taken night jobs as librarians to offset the costs of stripper school tuition.  

Although being a stripper is one of the best occupations in the country as far as job security, getting a good stripping education is becoming increasingly more expensive. And tragically, tailoring to the population that actually still reads is the fastest way for girls to earn money.

Yeah you book me all night so literate.

While taking a job as a librarian is not new, the numbers of applications have risen sharply. One girl, who wished not to be named, had this to say on her new profession, "While obviously being a librarian isn’t my first choice as job, it’s the best way for me to make money. I get paid fairly well…I mean, the only guys that actually come to libraries are really smart and have a lot of money, but they are also losers who’ll give away anything for a pretty girl who shows them where a book is.” 

Other girls also commented on how awkward it is to see a guy around campus that they’ve seen visiting the libraries where they work. “Guys who visit libraries are such creeps,” said another young librarian. “And it sucks how they think we’re friends when they see me on campus. Our relationships stop at the book theft detectors at the library entrance.” 

Another librarian lamented, “There is nothing attractive about a guy throwing books and ‘making it hail’. I swear if the money wasn’t good I would find another way to pay for my pole dancing classes.”

Many girls working at libraries have found it difficult to tell their parents, and many simply say nothing and hope their parents will not find out. 

“I just told my parents that I have an office internship,” remarked one anonymous librarian. “And they even thought that was terrible, so I told them that I was having an affair with my boss. That settled their nerves. At least now they think I’m actually getting real world experience on using my body to get ahead in life.” 

Others have been honest with their parents.  One father had this to say about his daughter, "I told her I didn’t agree with her working at a library. I told her there must be another way. No one should have to satisfy a fetish like reading. It’s despicable. And to anyone out there who is reading my views right now, please help to spread my message that no girl belongs working at a library. After that, you can go to hell for reading this blog article.”

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